Psychological Safety

I was speaking with a group of graduate Art students this evening about the importance of psychological safety for fostering creativity in the classroom.  This got me reflecting on my own experiences in this class, and our upcoming creative skills presentation.  I am admittedly a bit sheepish about showing my products tomorrow.  With that said, I realized it not so much because I feel intimidated or apprehensive about sharing my work with my classmates.  I think we've developed a great climate for creativity and I certainly don't worry about being laughed at or ridiculed.  Rather I think my apprehension comes from my personal appraisal of my work -- I'm not 100% proud of what I've completed and it can be a little uncomfortable for me to share something I don't think is my best work.   

Despite this I'm eager to see what everyone else has to share (I'm counting on Julie to bring cookies) and surprisingly comfortable at the thought of getting up in front of the class.  I can get really nervous when public speaking but have no pre-presentation jitters.  Therein lies the beauty of psychological safety!

Inventing -vs- knitting

My creative wheels have been turning away, but not in relation to my creative skill project.  Instead, I've been busy working on my invention.   I've actually enjoyed having a new creative challenge, one that doesn't involve knitting needles to be exact.  I think I've applied more of the creative thinking strategies we've discussed in class to the invention assignment. In particular, I utilized some of the steps of CPS in creating my invention.  

Have needles, can travel.

Let me begin by saying I have finally calmed down, stopped cursing, and am making up with my computer (I admit to beating it a little) after a lengthy and thoughtful posting just evaporated into thin air.  I've got a wavering wireless signal right now and lost EVERYTHING I'd spent 2o minutes reflecting on when I went to publish my post.  Argh.  I'll try again but warn this post will not be nearly as witty or eloquent as my last! 

In any case, I'm out of town for the weekend and brought my knitting with me, as I'm apt to do these days.  As I sat on the beach I was first struck with how strange it was to be knitting some woolly scarf-like thing while sitting in a bathing suit in the sun.  It then dawned on me just how very cool it was that I could engage in my creative skill under such circumstances, all the while checking that my children weren't drowning in the surf AND talking with a friend.  I've spent a good bit of time reflecting on my creative process since this project began and realize how much the circumstances of my life dictate what I can and can't devote time to right now.  I'm enrolled in a full-time doctoral program, on a serious budget, and in the company of my two young sons more often than not.  If I'm going to do anything creative with regularity it has to fit into my life as it is.  I must say knitting really does meet the criteria I've unconsciously established (what a creative problem solver I am!).  These criteria are as follows: 1) Inexpensive 2) Able to be undertaken while with kids 3) Can be stopped and started with ease -- little preparation or cleanup, not susceptible to frequent interruption 4) Can be done anytime, anywhere

I'm also pleased to find that I must be getting better.  The wind was whipping my yarn around like crazy today, yet I was still able to keep up with it all.  I've also found myself getting more adventurous (dare I say creative?), planning different combinations/styles I'd like to try. Lastly, I've had two instances recently where I was able to turn an error into something I'm pleased with.  Despite my progress, I'm getting a bit nervous about our final presentations.  When I selected knitting I imagined some long, lovely scarf I'd present to the delight and awe of the class.  Alas, what I'll likely have are a couple of holey, asymmetrical, ugly-colored swatches.   Perhaps I should see if I can find any mittens or scarfs on sale that I can claim as my own....

Knitting for America

I was in the kitchen fixing dinner while listening to NPR, as I do every night, trying to shoo my kids away and not burn things.  In the midst of a typical evening's chaos I was only half listening to some commentator going on about being thrifty during the current economic recession.  All of the sudden I hear mention  of something that has only recently become part of my life:  she mentioned knitting!  Specifically she referred to the fact that she was a knitter and had resorted to making gifts for people instead of purchasing presents. Still, I was shocked to feel some strange over-the-radio connection.  It was quite gratifying to hear my creative skill mentioned on my primary source of media (alas, we don't have cable so we're public radio junkies).   More importantly, I was reminded that there really is something to this knitting business.  I can heed my president's call to buck up during these tough times...I can save money on gifts by creating!  I can knit for America! 

Kneed to get back to knitting.

I'm reminded once again that fostering a creative skill takes time!  I've been busy catching up this week after 7 chaotic days, and have made little progress with my knitting.  I still can't help but wonder if this is not an optimal time to be biting off something else in my life.  Anyway, excuses, excuses...I really do have difficulty devoting myself to this project on a regular  basis. 

In the mean time, I have been engaging in a good bit of creative thinking as I prepare my invention for our upcoming project.   I've found myself thinking about his a good bit since Wednesday's class. Perhaps I do have a creative bone in my body after all, even if I'm not so disciplined in exercising it. 

Not this week!

This is far and away the busiest week of my doctoral program to date.  In addition to completing assignments for each of my 6 classes I'm busy preparing for the culmination of a two-semester internship: a Saturday enrichment class for 70 fifth and sixth graders.  This is a long winded way of saying there will be absolutely, positively no knitting for me this week. 

Spring Breaking my way towards progress

With the coming of Spring I seem to have turned a new corner with my project.  I've been knitting.  A lot!  And have enjoyed it!  As I hoped, my friend brought her knitting with her on our trip and it was rather inspiring.  She's working on some really neat things using a variety of different yarns and stitches.  The end result is interesting and quite creative, inspiring me to persist with my own knitting.  I'm more keenly aware that I've first got to get competent with some of the basics before I can really do some creative things with knitting.  I've got to be patient and devote time to practice if I want the prize of a really cool creation.  As with many things in life, creativity takes time to cultivate and it's unrealistic to think I'll be a master over night.  

While at the beach I learned a new stitch -- pearling (spelling?) -- and have been working on this over the last couple of days.  It feels great to be moving forward, overcoming my creative block. I did go ahead and change the yarn I'm using and it's much more appealing to me.   My next challenge is to keep up my momentum once the break is over.  

Moving forward?

Finally! I seem to have worked through my latest creativity crisis and am pressing on with my knitting.  I decided to tie of the piece I've been working on and begin again.  I've picked out a color I like better and the yarn is much thicker.  I should be able to get a bigger product and cover up any mistakes I make along the way -- this new yarn is much more forgiving in that respect.  Best of all, I'm headed for a weekend with my friend, the person who taught me how to knit in the first place.  She's bringing her materials and we'll spend some time knitting together.  That's one of the lovely images I had to begin with:  "stitching and bitching" with a girl friend.  I look forward to starting anew.  

Cold fingers do not a happy knitter make

What irony.  On one hand, this cold, snowy weather makes me appreciate the value of my chosen creative skill.  I could be knitting mittens, hats, and scarfs to protect my family from the cold!  With that said, our power's been out since 4:00 p.m. Sunday, I can see my breath in my house, and my fingers will fall off if I take them away from the fire.   It's just too cold to knit.  I don't know how the pioneer women did it, but they were definitely tougher than me. Besides, my yarn isn't waterproof, so it probably wouldn't do us any good in this snow anyway.  

This stinks.

After a brief spurt of knitting energy I am now completely devoid of any creative inclination.  I went out of town for the weekend and opted not to take my knitting (didn't think I'd get the needles through airport security).  Since I've been back I've been swamped with school and life and haven't done anything.  My knitting things are sitting on my dresser, staring at me, making me feel terribly guilty.  I decided to explore my classmates' blogs and see how they're progressing.  Misery loves company, and I'm even lonelier after this exercise!  While I've been thoroughly unproductive it appears everyone else is far more creative than I am!  Aaron's completing paintings, Laney's posting lovely pictures, Hillary's finished her crocheting project, and Lauren's growing plants!   Despite feeling like a great big underachiever, I have had a bit of a revelation.  One of the things that struck me about everyone else's creative skill is the room for variety.  I'm really only doing one thing -- making repeated knots with the same boring color thread.  Nothing changes except the length of my scarf or whatever the heck this mess is. I do not have a history of task avoidance, and I fear my current quandry may arise from the fact that I'm bored.  I really appreciate how the activities undertaken by my classmates allow for variety.  For example, Alex can get creative cooking different meals. I think this knitting business may be too limited for my desired creative expression!  I'm committed to keeping it up for the duration of this class, but think I'm inspired to try something new in the future.  If anything I'm getting frustrated because I think I do have some creativity deep down inside that I'm eager to get out...just not with a bunch of knots. 

Who drank my creative juices?

   I've been losing a bit of my creative steam lately.  It'd been almost a week since I'd picked up the old knitting needles, and things had  gotten to the point where I'd guiltily avert my eyes when walking past the bag I keep my knitting things in.  Every day I didn't knit I'd find myself feeling increasingly guilty about not staying on the ball (no pun intended), and the guiltier I got the harder it was to get started again.  What a strange phenomenon.  

   I woke up Sunday and decided if I did nothing else all day, I would absolutely, positively knit!  I set myself up outside and a pleasant experience unraveled (what is it with the knitting language?!).  In general, it's much easier for me to knit then when I started.  The needles no longer feel so awkward and unfamiliar, which allows me to enjoy the repetition -- it's a relief to have time for my mind wander!   After my initial plunge I found myself picking up my stuff off and on all day.  I hope to keep up with my progress this week.  Does anyone know if you can take knitting needles on an airplane these days?  I've got a four hour flight this weekend and could take advantage of the free time. 

     I have had one creeping concern about the actual "creativity" involved in what I'm doing right now.  Yes, I'm creating something in the truest sense, but as I look at my plain little pink rows there doesn't seem to be anything new or interesting here, no novelty or originality.   I'm suspicious that there's an exact replica (though probably a good bit better) of my yucky pink knitting somewhere else in the country.   It just doesn't seem very inspired, which has me once again questioning how I define "creative".  

Reflecting on my creative process

I've spent some time reflecting on my creative process in regards to my knitting this week.  I've decided that I'm going to stop worrying about creating a big project for now (my coveted scar) and focus on improving my skill.  I keep knitting rows, finding holes, and unraveling everything so I can start over.  I know when I do finally get going with a "final product" I will want it to be perfect.  If not perfect, at least free of gaping holes and including a variety of stitches.;  I've recently learned that the "pearl" stitch looks very different from the "knit" stitch, and that the two can be alternated to create an interesting checker board pattern.  I imagine different people would attack this task in different ways.  My first thought was that I would just keep going, not worrying about little mistakes, until I finished a scarf.  However, I now appreciate the work involved in this and feel like if I'm going to spend so much time on something I want it to be just right!  In the mean time, I'll keep on practicing. 

Kneatly Knitting on a Saturday Knight

Something's happening!  I'm thinking about knitting...alot!  I've given up waiting for the perfect moment to get creative and decided to just do it.  In the middle of the living room.  With my kids running around and husband listening to NPR.  And it's working!   I'm unbelievably slow but taking pleasure in watching my neat little rows form.   Never mind that I showed Clay my "work" and he commented, "Wow, are there supposed to be all those holes?"  

Admittedly I'm already starting to get a little bored with a simple knit stitch and eager to learn how to pearl, want to try out different yarns, ready for the next step.  A real challenge now is to force myself to continue with my current progress, to get a good handle on how to do this one thing before tackling the next.  I imagine this may be an important part of any creative skill training - mastery of one skill before undertaking a new one.  I still think it's going to take me 10 years to actually come up with a scarf, and an ugly pink one at that (I really hate what I'm working with now).  Still, I'm enjoying the process.  It's nice to have something actively creative to do when I don't want to face my school work, house work, etc.  

P.S.

Should anyone actually happen to read this blog, do you have any idea how I can upload a brief video from my digital camera?   Just writing this is maxing out my technological skills.

Hmmmmm.... maybe I should find a new creative skill...

I will preface my discussion of what happened today with my creative "skill"  (perhaps "unskill" is more appropriate?) with an update from the weekend.

Met my friend on Sunday afternoon and spent 2 hours together knitting. One of the things I'm enjoying about this project is the exercise in metacognition -- thinking about my thinking. Here are my reflections on this exercise in creativity:

1)  The act of knitting felt completely foreign and awkward.  I had difficulty holding the needles appropriately, making stitches, keeping up with the skein of yarn, etc.   During all of this I was reflecting on our reading on neuroplasticity.  My brain had to be changing!   I surely must be laying new neural paths!  

2)  As suggested in our readings, it really is difficult to effectively problem solve without a solid foundational understanding of the area you're engaged in.  For example, I kept adding stitches.  I started out with 30 and was up to 42 on my last count!  How could this be happening???  I really have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, or how to correct it, as I still have such limited understanding and experience with all of this.  

3)  Despite my seemingly intense concentration on what I was doing, the repetitive motions really did allow my mind to wander.   I was impressed that my meager little brain could, indeed, have two completely separate "conversations" going on! 

4)  If I wait for my ideal "creative environment," I will NEVER, EVER, EVER engage in a creative skill consistently.  Quiet time, a space free of extraneous noise and distraction, where I can reflect on what I'm doing...this is my ideal environment to get creative.  Alas, my current life just does not consistently provide this!   I've got to be able to do something with small children running around me.

All of this brings me up to today.  HOW CAN I HAVE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN HOW TO DO SOMETHING I LEARNED JUST TWO DAYS AGO????   I admittedly did no knitting yesterday and sat down tonight and have no idea how to do it!!!!   Back at square one.  My friend is bringing me by her 6 year old daughter's book and I'm hoping to get back on track.  As research suggests, you clearly must practice a skill intensively and repeatedly before it becomes automatic.  

Can I be creative?

I secretly long to be able to tear it up on the dance floor, and would LOVE if someone would pick me for something like Dancing With the Stars (even though I don't have cable and have never actually seen the show).  However, unless there are adult beverages served, I just don't see myself getting up on a table and putting on a show for our final presentations.   

Keeping this in mind,  I'm going to pick up something I tried to do rather unsuccessfully years ago:  knitting.   Back in 2005 I thought knitting seemed so cool -- you could take it anywhere, pick out fun yarn, and make gifts for people.  All the celebrities were knitting!  My husband presented me with knitting needles, two skeins of yarn, and a book on how to knit for Christmas and I spent the next few days cursing his name in intense frustration as I created a nasty mess of knots.   Desperate to master my new craft and make a really cute scarf I signed up for a class at the Georgia Center.  I stunk and lost interest and my knitting needles have been tucked away out of sight -- a shameful reminder of my inadequate craftiness -- for years!   

I'm enlisting the help of a friend, a master knitter (she made BOTH her kids hats in a few mere hours!  Gasp!) , to get me back on track.  My goal is to make something, even if it's just a pot holder, I'm proud of. 

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...Did I do this right?