This stinks.

After a brief spurt of knitting energy I am now completely devoid of any creative inclination.  I went out of town for the weekend and opted not to take my knitting (didn't think I'd get the needles through airport security).  Since I've been back I've been swamped with school and life and haven't done anything.  My knitting things are sitting on my dresser, staring at me, making me feel terribly guilty.  I decided to explore my classmates' blogs and see how they're progressing.  Misery loves company, and I'm even lonelier after this exercise!  While I've been thoroughly unproductive it appears everyone else is far more creative than I am!  Aaron's completing paintings, Laney's posting lovely pictures, Hillary's finished her crocheting project, and Lauren's growing plants!   Despite feeling like a great big underachiever, I have had a bit of a revelation.  One of the things that struck me about everyone else's creative skill is the room for variety.  I'm really only doing one thing -- making repeated knots with the same boring color thread.  Nothing changes except the length of my scarf or whatever the heck this mess is. I do not have a history of task avoidance, and I fear my current quandry may arise from the fact that I'm bored.  I really appreciate how the activities undertaken by my classmates allow for variety.  For example, Alex can get creative cooking different meals. I think this knitting business may be too limited for my desired creative expression!  I'm committed to keeping it up for the duration of this class, but think I'm inspired to try something new in the future.  If anything I'm getting frustrated because I think I do have some creativity deep down inside that I'm eager to get out...just not with a bunch of knots. 

Who drank my creative juices?

   I've been losing a bit of my creative steam lately.  It'd been almost a week since I'd picked up the old knitting needles, and things had  gotten to the point where I'd guiltily avert my eyes when walking past the bag I keep my knitting things in.  Every day I didn't knit I'd find myself feeling increasingly guilty about not staying on the ball (no pun intended), and the guiltier I got the harder it was to get started again.  What a strange phenomenon.  

   I woke up Sunday and decided if I did nothing else all day, I would absolutely, positively knit!  I set myself up outside and a pleasant experience unraveled (what is it with the knitting language?!).  In general, it's much easier for me to knit then when I started.  The needles no longer feel so awkward and unfamiliar, which allows me to enjoy the repetition -- it's a relief to have time for my mind wander!   After my initial plunge I found myself picking up my stuff off and on all day.  I hope to keep up with my progress this week.  Does anyone know if you can take knitting needles on an airplane these days?  I've got a four hour flight this weekend and could take advantage of the free time. 

     I have had one creeping concern about the actual "creativity" involved in what I'm doing right now.  Yes, I'm creating something in the truest sense, but as I look at my plain little pink rows there doesn't seem to be anything new or interesting here, no novelty or originality.   I'm suspicious that there's an exact replica (though probably a good bit better) of my yucky pink knitting somewhere else in the country.   It just doesn't seem very inspired, which has me once again questioning how I define "creative".  

Reflecting on my creative process

I've spent some time reflecting on my creative process in regards to my knitting this week.  I've decided that I'm going to stop worrying about creating a big project for now (my coveted scar) and focus on improving my skill.  I keep knitting rows, finding holes, and unraveling everything so I can start over.  I know when I do finally get going with a "final product" I will want it to be perfect.  If not perfect, at least free of gaping holes and including a variety of stitches.;  I've recently learned that the "pearl" stitch looks very different from the "knit" stitch, and that the two can be alternated to create an interesting checker board pattern.  I imagine different people would attack this task in different ways.  My first thought was that I would just keep going, not worrying about little mistakes, until I finished a scarf.  However, I now appreciate the work involved in this and feel like if I'm going to spend so much time on something I want it to be just right!  In the mean time, I'll keep on practicing.